so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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