totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
