i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
