i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
