dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
