so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
