He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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