He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
