Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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