It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
