After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
