tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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