You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
