I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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