It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
