high people should be assigned attendants
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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