I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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