We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
