if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
