Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
