Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
