In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
