This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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