i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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