Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
