Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
