dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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