Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
