i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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