Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
