if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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