I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
