Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
