So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
