We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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