Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
