I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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