I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
