it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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