she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
