We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
