You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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