the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
