I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Boobs are out for the taking
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
