I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
