everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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