Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
