Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
