i wish starbucks made bloody marys
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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