Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
